Funny Status Messages

   Religions frequently promote inbred social networks. You're encouraged to spend more time with people who share the same belief system while disengaging from those with incompatible beliefs.

   The weather in Oklahoma has been more bipolar then katy perry

   Religions are authoritarian hierarchies designed to dominate your free will.

   I failed this quiz question... Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the answer is Africa! Who knew?!?!

   My friend is having sex with his GF and her twin, asked how he tells them apart, he said her brother has a mustache!

   Prince William's bachelor party is going to be weird. Imagine stuffing money with pictures of your grandma into a lap dancer's g-string

   WARNING!! As of today - Facebook will automatically start dragging Earth into the Sun. To change this option, go to Settings > Planetary Settings > Trajectory then UNCLICK the box that says ' Apocalypse.' Facebook kept this one quite.

   I saw my ex the other day and I'll be straight up honest with ya, YEAH I'd still hit it... with my car.. with my baseball bat.. with my fore arm repeatedly...

   I purposely mess up there, their, and they're just to piss people off.

   Have you seen the remix video of "Black and Yellow" featuring R. Kelly?

   I know you think you're interesting because you have an accent. But a drunken slur is not an accent.

   If my boss saw how many cool things I post on Facebook in a day, he'd stop saying I'm unproductive.

   Does this Senate Bill 5 have anything to do with a foot long sub?

   You know what's amazing? "how I met your mother"

   Just because you're an adult doesn't mean you can't use "eenie-meenie-miney-moe to help make important life decisions

   ;( Yep, winking AND frowning. Your mind = blown.

   wondering why buy grapes with seeds when the convenience of a seedless grape is right there

   You don't want to look back on your life and say, "I just made it through."

   I just awesomed all over the place.

   going to go out on a limb here...I think there is a very good possibility Gaddafi just might be the one on hallucinogenic drugs...just sayin!