Funny Status Messages | Recent Comments | Submit a Status Message

Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort: Recent | Oldest | Rating

Trump Filter: ON | OFF

Search Messages:

5088

Page: 5088 of 5594

Dear people: Stop drunk texting. Sincerely, Cell Phone Companies

←Rate | 03-13-2011 22:15 by Lesley Comments (0)

I started a new job, Going good so far, Working as a comedian in an old folks home, I tell them jokes, They don't understand me,They still piss themselves...

←Rate | 03-13-2011 21:20 Comments (0)

Everyday I think people can't get any more stupid and pretty much everyday I'm proven horribly wrong!

←Rate | 03-13-2011 21:19 by Jen Briggs Comments (0)

Dear cellphone companies: please invent a "unsend my text" option

223

←Rate | 03-13-2011 21:08 by scottyp Comments (0)

An Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you will love it!"

←Rate | 03-13-2011 20:27 by Jen Briggs Comments (0)

(beep) (beep) (beep) You have reached a status that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. I you feel this message is an error, please log off and try your comment again. Thank You.

←Rate | 03-13-2011 20:18 by Jason Biaza Comments (0)

The secret to a great relationship...Argue Naked!

125

←Rate | 03-13-2011 18:40 by Jen Briggs Comments (0)

" Hey ,Skinny jeans aren't for men" Sincerely, Your Balls.

←Rate | 03-13-2011 18:26 Comments (0)

Don't do drugs kids. There is a time and place for everything. It's called college.

←Rate | 03-13-2011 18:13 by BEGO Comments (0)

Actually, every picture you have is from when you were younger.

←Rate | 03-13-2011 17:54 Comments (0)

Solution to two of the world's problems: Feed the homeless to the hungry.

←Rate | 03-13-2011 17:27 by Jason Biaza Comments (0)

thinks some people wake up and eat a massive bowl of stupid for breakfast everyday!

←Rate | 03-13-2011 17:19 by Jen Briggs Comments (0)

So I was at the park flying my kite and this random guy came up to me and said "You flying a kite?" I replied "Nah I'm fishing for birds"

124

←Rate | 03-13-2011 17:09 by Jen Briggs Comments (0)

I just seen someone dressed as the Statue of Liberty running down the road being chased by a Rottweiler..... Today is off to a great start!!!

←Rate | 03-13-2011 16:58 by Michael Askins Comments (0)

Just remember if the world didnt suck, we'd all fall off

←Rate | 03-13-2011 16:36 Comments (0)

BBC News: AMERICA TO SEND 2 NUCLEAR EXPERTS TO JAPAN. The last time they sent "Nuclear Experts" to Japan, they killed 105,000 people...

←Rate | 03-13-2011 16:36 by lemonpillow Comments (0)

I just kicked my shoe off my foot and it bounced off the excercise ball and hit me in the face

←Rate | 03-13-2011 16:33 Comments (0)

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

←Rate | 03-13-2011 16:31 Comments (0)

Today I didn't know what to do- the devil on my shoulder pushed my angel off other shoulder but just a moment ago the angel came back with a baseball bat!

←Rate | 03-13-2011 16:29 by Jen Briggs Comments (0)

Welcome to the Betty Ford Clinic, my name is Charlie and I'll be your bartender for the evening. What'll ya have?

←Rate | 03-13-2011 16:16 Comments (0)