Funny Status Messages

   the next time I screw up bad I'll say "well at least I didnt predict the end of mankind and nothing happened"

   Sorry to all those that thought they were going to loot my stuff once the Apocalypse started last night..........Apparently I'm still needed here for something.

   Whenever I hear the phrase 'anything is possible', I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door ;)

   i decided to go to church for the first time ever this morning...just to laugh hysterically...yeah...i was quickly kicked out...

   My boloney has a first name its H.A.R.O.L.D...!!!

   Dyslexic man walks into a bra *Ba-Dum-Bum Tsss*

   Ob-la-di, ob-la-da life goes on brah, La la how the life goes on

   I don't want to sound like I'm bragging or anything, but this is the fifth end of the world I've survived

   The awkward moment when you wake up and your house is gone

   thinking that Harold Camping's mathematical equation involved a Magic 8-ball.

   The difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is how you use them.

   oh crap..they didn't take me but they took the rum!

   Cheer up, Harold Camping. A volcano erupted in Iceland. That's something.

   I'm not saying the mainstream media is liberal, but I'm pretty sure I just saw NBC congratulate President Obama on defeating The Rapture.

   I don't want to sound like I'm bragging or anything, but I've survived Y2k, 9/11, Bird Flu, H1N1, 6-6-2006 and now the rapture/apocalypse. Bring on 2012, I'm a survivor baby!

   I don't want to sound like I'm bragging or anything, but this is the fifth end of the world I've survived.

   Note to self : when manscaping don't use after shave....

   At least this apocalypse and rapture debacle has conclusively proven one significant fact: We are not alone! We have idiots living among us!

   The only place that the rapture happened was on myspace.

   INSTALLING the RAPTURE... ███████████████░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 45% DONE. Install delayed....please wait. Installation failed. Please try again. 404 error: RAPTURE not found.