Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4708 of 5594

   messageicon who else is mad that it's 2011 and we still don't have hover boards and flying cars?
←Rate | 07-14-2011 00:47 by mimi82 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking...almost 70 years ago the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. Come this Sunday the US Women's soccer team is going to torpedo Japan!
←Rate | 07-14-2011 00:26 by Kado Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Women are like cell phones, they love to be held, they love to be talked to, but if you push the wrong button, you'll be disconnected,"!
←Rate | 07-14-2011 00:03 by ff1241 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since this is the last time for the space shuttle, I think we should all dress up as extras from Planet of the Apes when they land
←Rate | 07-13-2011 23:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why didn't Tigger have any friends?....Becaue he played with Pooh....
←Rate | 07-13-2011 23:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What happened to the good old days when words never hurt people
←Rate | 07-13-2011 23:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon - When no one believes you even if everything you say is the truth, hurt a little, cry a little and let the choice be theirs.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 23:00 by Carol Comments (0)  


   messageicon : If you can't tolerate me at my Worst, then you sure do not deserve me at my Best!!!
←Rate | 07-13-2011 22:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I am all alone in the house then things like soda cans in the trash decide to pop and make noises!
←Rate | 07-13-2011 22:09 by @mr_johnnylovett Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder what quality the wife of the inventor of Vagisil possessed that made him want to create such a thing
←Rate | 07-13-2011 21:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm seriously as bored as a vegetarian gay guy at hooters!
←Rate | 07-13-2011 21:24 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I had a nickel for every time a girl said, “I'm Over him, I deleted his number & deleted him off Facebook” & then their back together the next day.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 21:11 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon The amount of paper towel I use to squash and discard a bug is directly related to whether or not I know what kind of bug it is
←Rate | 07-13-2011 21:10 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon So many people fall in love with the wrong person, simply b/c the wrong person will often say all the right things.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 21:10 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at first you don't succeed, sigh, sigh again.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 21:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing how a blue fish with memory trouble can be such a great motivational speaker! "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming".
←Rate | 07-13-2011 20:54 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe she's born with it... Maybe it's Maybelline. Or maybe it's Photoshop
←Rate | 07-13-2011 20:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon aww. you need to wipe your mouth sweetheart, you've got some bull ish on your lips.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 20:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn
←Rate | 07-13-2011 19:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey person that always has to make a comment that ruins my status, f*ck off! You're just jealous that I came up with a better status than you.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 18:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left