Funny Status Messages

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 4558 of 5594

   messageicon I'm a fighter not a lover, but I will love for what I fought.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 11:58 by chavez Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hurting someone who really cares you is as easy as throwing stone in the lake, but you will never know how deep that stone goes
←Rate | 09-01-2011 11:50 by vish vicenzo Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a$$holes." ~William Gibson
←Rate | 09-01-2011 11:48 by Mike M Comments (0)  


   messageicon Soft rock music isn't rock, and it ain't music. It's just soft.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 11:27 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wake up, wake up, wake up it's the 1st of the month To get up, get up, get up so cash your checks and get up Wakin' up feelin' buzzed off up early mornin' stretchin' I'm yawnin' lightweight bent chugga lugga take a fifth to the dome Instead I kick it wit
←Rate | 09-01-2011 11:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a lover not a fighter, but I will fight for what I love
←Rate | 09-01-2011 11:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have finally just accepted all my invitations to connect on LinkedIn. Now I wait. With my pants off.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 11:14 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who else puts LOL or LMAO or ROFL knowing good and damn well your sitting there with a straight face.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 11:13 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Internet connection failed!: □ Wait patiently. ✔ Rape the refresh button.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 11:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Any woman can have the body of a 21 year old… as long as she buys him a few drinks first.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 11:12 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was planning to take a flu shot until I found out it isn't a kind of drink
←Rate | 09-01-2011 11:11 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."
←Rate | 09-01-2011 10:58 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon In dog beers…I've only had one.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 08:46 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today I saw a baby with a onesie that said "Mommy only wanted a backrub."
←Rate | 09-01-2011 08:16 by CharlieTuna Comments (1)  


   messageicon I predict that if, by 21 December 2012, the world doesn't end, I'll still have to buy christmas gifts..
←Rate | 09-01-2011 07:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So the wife and I went to Bed Bath & Beyond ,,, and we got a new toilet brush, I tried it out,,,, Yadda..Yadda..Yadda...I think I'm going to stick with toilet paper
←Rate | 09-01-2011 07:28 by snoty Comments (0)  


   messageicon My sleep number is a fat blunt
←Rate | 09-01-2011 07:26 by Lozo Comments (0)  


   messageicon man its' boring in the office... okay everyone I have an idea: let's just take off our pants at 13 o'clock simultaneously... this should spice things up.
←Rate | 09-01-2011 06:40 by Mr. X Comments (0)  


   messageicon [+[__] :] <- Like my Gameboy?
←Rate | 09-01-2011 02:15 by @anikethmendonca Comments (0)  


   messageicon My graduation speech will be, "I'd like to thank google, google & uh.. google..."
←Rate | 09-01-2011 02:10 by @anikethmendonca Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left