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going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn't care 
In my day a mouse pad was a place rodents lived, a cursor was someone you avoided, and if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy you sure never told anyone.
Baseball World Records: Most Home Runs: Barry Bonds RBI's: Hank Aaron Career Batting Streak: Joe DiMaggio Most Innings Pitched: Cy Young Hit In The Face With The Most Balls: Justin Bieber
I assume aliens love oral since they only abduct humans without teeth.
I may be old but I got to see all the cool bands
If you know anyone who's mute and has a neck brace, ask them as many yes or no questions as possible.
I've had 4 cups of coffee in the past hour and now I look like I have Parkinson's.
I distrust camels and other things that can go a week without a drink.
The cover of my book will be a sledge hammer about to crush a engagment ring! That, or a close-up of me in a fetal position sucking my thumb.
I'm so glad girls haven't figured out the power they wield just by greeting me with "Hey you."
The first time sleeping over a girl's place is always awkward 'cause I have to explain who I am, how I got in, & why I'm crying...still single
I wonder if Jack Lalane was buried, cremated, or "juiced"?
Words to live by: Never leave a cake out in the rain. It took so long to bake it, and you may never have that recipe again,
Thinking about moving to Africa so I can feed my kids for 18 cents a day.
When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
i asked God to protect me from my enemines. Then all of a sudden I started losing "friends".
I think Mark Zuckerberg is in my frikin laptop laughing... My Facebook is changing back and forth!!!! :-/
you know your high when you wait for a stop sign to change color.
I met this Chinese guy named Ho Lee Chit... (^_^)
I put my phone on airplane mode then threw it accross the room..Worst transformer ever! 