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You can go to church and sing a hymn, you can judge me by the color of my skin, you can live a lie until you die, the one thing you can't hide, is when you're crippled inside. 
Cher diddn't lose a daughter, She gained a Ton.
I am aware that I am less than some people perfer me to be but most people are unaware that I am so much more than what they see.
I think I may be confused...but I'm not sure
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
if you understand morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy. JJ
movie coming out in 2012: "I still kinda remember what you did that summer"
hey guys!!!!!! A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.
I always mean it as a compliment but I've found that some parents get a little pissed off when you describe their children as "do-able."
You put the ID in stupid.
Boyfriend not calling you back? Send a text you're about to cut off all your hair. Ahhhh there he is!
If at any point in the conversation you say the word "insane," I will instantly add "in the membrane."
Nothing says to a robber, "I have brand new never before opened electronics piled up in my living room." Like a Christmas tree.
Please tell me again how "Ninja training" is not an acceptable excuse to miss work for the rest of the week??? This is bullsh!t!!!
I actually hate grocery clerks who ask "paper or plastic." It's like they know I f*ck ugly women.
The thing that sucks about hanging out with my friends is that they see how much I stare at my phone and know how little I answer their texts.
shouldn't *India* be the country that celebrates Columbus Day? Think of all the syphilis they avoided because that dude could not navigate his way out of a kiddie pool.
What's the best way to casually ask your neighbor for his wifi password?
Lets AGREE to DISAGREE.. because you're too f*ckin stupid to understand me!
In the absence of information, people make sh!t up. Worse, if they feel threatened, they make sh!t up that amplifies their worst fears. 