Funny Status Messages

   I don't want to be a millionaire. I just want enough money to be able to stare off into the distance while pumping my gas.

   NOTHING says "party of the everyman" quite like two born-to-riches nepo baby billionaire douchbags selling $80,000 cars on the White House lawn.

   Marriage tip: If your wife cooks, make sure the smoke detector has good batteries in it!

   It takes a very special idiot to drive the worlds largest economy off a cliff in 7 weeks

   I read somewhere that being sarcastic on a daily basis can add up to three years to your life. If that's true, I'm gonna live forever.

   I have a love/hate relationship with Daylight Saving Time. I love it in the evening, but I hate it in the morning.

   Look at all the pitiful haters out there making gay jokes about me as though it were some sort of insult. I thought you supported gay rights? But now it's supposed to be a negative thing? LOL

   I'M GOING TO NEED ELON MUSK TO SEND ME A LIST OF FIVE REASONS WHY HIS PATHETIC ROCKET FAILED FOR THE 8TH TIME

   JD Vance looks like a pedophile Care-Bear.

   Zelensky was the only person sitting in that Oval office not wearing make up LMAO

   It's so strange to think before Facebook, all this nonsense just stayed in people's heads.

   Newsflash to all the haters out there trying to hate on me: I'm not going anywhere!

   Dman does his father's asshole.

   Dman is a Dbag

   Dman is a tranny

   GaryKoenig needs to seriously go f**k himself

   Trans people need help.

   Remember when teachers used to say, "You won't have a calculator everywhere you go". Well, we showed them.

   The vast, vast majority of people on the planet recognize what a piece of human garbage he is. When are you going to wake up?

   I moved the clock up an hour before I went to bed last night and when I got up this morning it was still 1943