Samir Momin Funny Status Messages

   WHY DO OLD PEOPLE DRIVE LIKE THEY GOT ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD, BUT YOUNG PEOPLE DRIVE LIKE THEIR DAYS ARE LIMITED....?

   Im a good enough person to forgive you, but not stupid enough to trust you....

   Girls having more guy friends because they cause less drama...

   Men may have created fire but women have discovered the art of playing with it..

   I was blown away when I realised the word ' OK ' is a side ways person,...

   I get worried when I see a pattern on my multiple choice sheet....

   My name is_____ and I can never find a key chain with my name on it...

   I didn't change, I just grew up. You should try it sometime....

   I stick my leg out of my covers when its hot, but then I feel unprotected.

   I would take a bullet for u.. Not the head but like in the leg or something....

   Why Do Guys Cheat On Pretty Girls With Ugly Ones....?

   Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred...

   The longest sentence known to man: "I do."

   Right now, my bracket is like a drunken one-night stand: sloppy but still doable....

   YOU LOOK LIKE I NEED ANOTHER DRINK....

   A RECENT POLICE STUDY FOUND THAT YOU'RE MUCH MORE LIKELY TO GET SHOT BY A FAT COP IF YOU RUN....

   When one person suffers from delusion, it is called insanity.When many people suffer from delusion, it is called religion....

   I TOOK A DRUG TEST THE OTHER DAY AND THE TEST RESULTS CAME BACK NEGATIVE. WHICH MEANS MY DEALER HAS SOME F*CKING EXPLAINING TO DO...

   For English: Press 1, Para Espanol: Move to mexico...

   stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house but two people died...