Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Due to lack of punch buggies on the road nowadays the new game is tesla titty twista

   The reason the 'why does the military only get one day' people mention it mainly during Pride Month is because the dysphoric, rainbow cucks ram it down our throats. (Not to mention each other's.)

   You want this, you want that. People in heII want ice water.

   If Those "why does the military only get one day people" actually cared they'd mention it any other month otherthen pride

   In The Little Mermaid, the real reason Ariel wanted human legs was because Eric told her he doesn’t eat sushi.

   My husband says I never do anything, so I just cleaned out our bank account.

   DiGiorno should start delivering, just to screw with people

   I decide which beer to drink on a case by case basis

   When French people swear, do they say excuse my English?

   As I was driving in the city I saw my ex crossing the street and the term, "I'd hit that", took on a whole new meaning!

   Thanks to A.I seeing a baby with a Mullet and a beard seems perfectly normal these days

   In many cases, dogs aren't always man's best friend. They're one man's best friend. They're usually everyone else's enemy.

   I trust CNN about as far as I can throw MSNBC.

   Happy F@g Month, El Freakos.

   John, I have two bad news, which one do you want to hear first?" "Combine them!" "Your wife cheats us!"

   why do people spend all day at work talking about going to the bar, then spend all night at the bar talking about work?

   I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved

   Weed smoking and turkey pulling today. Oops…reverse those verbs. Sorry

   Many animals probably need glasses, but nobody knows it.

   I got some Dr. Scholl's shoe cushions. I don't think a Doctorate Degree is needed to come up with shoe cushions. I would have bought them from a Mr. Scholl.