Funny Status Messages

   Don’t trust people who avoid the sun. They’re shady.

   i like the idea of shutting up but sorry that’s not for me-Gary K.

   I am not fat....Love for food has made me a nutritional overachiever.

   .Its Better to lose a lover THAN love a loser

   A new study found that about one percent of the U.S. population is allergic to gluten, while the other 99 percent are sick of having to hear about it.

   3 things I will never understand: 1. The meaning of life. 2. The universe. 3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box.

   I’m taking my box of wine back and filing a complaint. It said once opened it would last 6 weeks, but it was gone after 3 hrs.

   If you want to know who GaryKoenig really is, go back to page 1 and there you'll find him. Same lame.

   You can tell It's a Chink even when they wear sunglasses.

   You give up or are you thirsty for more?

   This guy's family tree doesn't have enough branches.

   The closest this guy will come to a brainstorm is a light drizzle.

   Oh look at this! You're so slow it takes you almost 12 hours to come up with a comeback. Unbelievable!

   Look in the mirror. Urghhhh!!!

   GaryKoenig, please, for the love of God STOP, you lame asshole.

   Members of Generation X have no definable traits other than being responsible for breeding the misguided Generation Z whackoffs.

   If everything tastes like us, then why do we have to die? –Chickens

   to the lady with all the hot selfies who claims she could steal my husband if she wanted... I will have him ready for you at 3

   Question, Does the term don't drop the soap in jail apply to women prisons?

   If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.