Funny Status Messages

   Your Skin Is Pale White and you dont go out in the sun. Say it,Vampire. No I just play a lot of world of warcraft.

   climbing in your windows & snatching your people up. Hide yo kids. Hide yo wife.

   Anyone else hate when there mom says they have to go to bed because it's too late? I mean really mom... it's 9 pm I know you are just looking out for me but I am 35 and I deserve some respect!

   You go to bed right now mister... How dare you post on here about your mother you are grounded for a week with no lemon bar deserts!

   more awesome than The Miz.

   Archaeologists have uncovered what is to be believed as the remains of the worlds oldest dog. Also uncovered at the same site is believed to be the worlds oldest dog coller. It says, "i'm rex, if found return to Larry King"

   whenever you drop clothes on the ground and don't feel like bending down to pick it up so you just kick it up and catch it in the air

   why dont they complain when Catholic Churches are built by playgrounds??

   says Live every act fully, as if it were your last.

   sin's so skilfully that it puts god in a dilemma whether to punish or not...

   O Friday, O Friday! wherefore art thou Friday? Deny thy other weekday

   Brett Favre came out of his hole and didn't see his shadow. That means only 5 more weeks until football starts.

   "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we" George Dubya Bush

   PERVERT: something we all are, but are too afraid to admit!

   Imagination is intelligence having fun.

   can you make a caption that I can actually read ?

   Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

   I've started keeping two lists: "To do" and "Too late"

   Cats have nine lives...which makes them perfect for experimenting on...

   David Hasselhoff's liver is soo shriveled, black and dead, if you put your ear to the side of it, you can hear it going: ‘What you talkin' about Willis?"