Funny Status Messages

   Hoping my dead grandma isn't watching EVERYTHING I do.....She would be pretty dissapointed in me!!

   I heard there was a perfect woman at every corner of the world....Unfortunately, the world is ROUND!!!!

   sad that my FB has become my BFF.....

   you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you should never, under any circumstances, pick your friend's nose.

   If myspace and Twitter were suddenly gone, would anyone really care?

   smoking probable cause :D

   Last night I had an epifanny....I realized I couldn't spell.

   Status Unavailable. Please Try Again Later.

   I miss ___________. I rather not mention you b/c your not worth mentioning :-)

   Welcome to my world:-)...Oh yeah, I forgot..your not in it..:-/

   Quick!! Someone make a status update about tomorrow being Monday and how you're already counting down the days until the weekend is here...

   i don't always drink beer but when I do I prefer to get wasted

   I think I drink too much... my liver is so shriveled, black and dead, if you put your ear up to it you can hear Gary Coleman.

   The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.

   If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

   Obviously the only rational solution to your problem is suicide.

   Blow your mind -- smoke gunpowder.

   Schizophrenia beats being alone.

   POVERTY: Having too much month left at the end of the money.

   Sky-diving: good til the last drop.