Funny Status Messages

   A study finds that most US currency is laced with cocaine. In fact, most dollar bills have a street value of $1.07.

   Baywatch" is now showing on Comedy Central ...Ironic..I thought it was a Drama

   ‎31 States, 1618 Languages, 6 Major Religions, 29 National Festivals, 1 Country!! Happy Independence Day INDIA!!!

   Dear Men,if you are going to criticise a womans figure or any other aspect of her appearance please make 100% sure that you are Brad pitt or Johnny Depp...

   Before a Break up, Always have a Back up !!

   Happy birthday Dora the explorer now we can get you a GPS

   if you have to ask how someone feels about you then the answer is not going to be good...

   I love people that go to the beach w. a t shirt over their bathing suit, I think that draws more attention to whatever ur trying to hide

   2 dyslexics run into a bank and shout "air in the hands mother stickers this is a f*ck up"

   Okay... If we get caught, pretend we don't speak English!

   "Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." "So is a grenade!"

   I feel like my co-workers are family. I don't like spending time with my family either.

   It's 100° with an under-boob index of 110°.

   If it wasn't for rap I probably wouldn't know the area codes of most major metropolitan cities.

   Guys, I know when people die they say to move on. I don't want that. Bury me in a time capsule and dig me up every 10 years. NEVER FORGET!

   The person who said "nothing's impossible!" has never seen me doing nothing.

   Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.

   My bed is so possessive. Every morning it holds me captive.

   Before a Staring Contest I always blink a lot to get ready.

   You were not "just wondering" now tell me why you asked.