Funny Status Messages

   Has anyone checked on Tupac lately? He hasn't put out a posthumous album in quite a few years.

   Signs you're getting old. Trying to save something on your computer and you can't remember where you put the floppy disks.

   My other Facebook page is a 69 camaro.

   I like being Next,, You can let somebody go in front of you and still be Next. People know who you are. " Who is that"? ... " Oh him he is Next".

   Remember before they had Hummers when you had to actually talk to a guy to tell if he was an a**hole?

   I bought my daughter an Iphone she was happy I bought my son an Ipad he was exstatic I bought my wife an Iron she threw it at me

   there are many peoples in front of pc for fb than doing their assignments today. it is a fact..trust me!

   The Hoff's singing is huge in Germany. He should be proud. Germans have always been known 4 their sound judgment

   one reason they call it PMS is that Mad Cow disease was already taken.

   Pre-season football reminds me of some of my ex's. It's over too soon and it's always boring

   "Doctor, I think I'm a deck of cards!" The doctor says, "Sit in the waiting room, I'll deal with you later."

   When the sun goes down and the beer starts flowing...that's when the really good ideas come out!

   ‎"I'm sorry"~Reggie Bush

   Just rescued a beer that was trapped in the fridge!

   I wonder if Edward Cullen's Load looks like glitter glue??

   I got "I love you.", tattooed on my penis... my girlfriend said "Quit trying to put words in my mouth!".

   would shove an eggbeater up Gordon Ramsey's creepy, arrogant arse if he he ever talked to me they he does to the restauranteurs on his show.

   mark wahlberg said "The world needs Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber is like the white Tupac compared to a lot of people out there." marky mark need to go back to rehab for PCP.

   How do you scare a Brit half to death?Dress like a dental hygienist

   will stop drinking when captain morgan puts his foot down.