Funny Status Messages

   So Lebron is going to take mental notes on everyone who's been taking shots at him this summer... I mean, if it was actual notes, with like a pen and paper, I might be scared! but since it's mental notes... nothing to worry about!

   So Lebron is keeping a list... you know who else is keeping a list? Delonte West. and you know who's mom is on there???

   loves Fridays but Friday the 13th is so stressfull. You have to watch out for black cats, don't walk under a ladder, open an umbrella inside and watch out for guys named Jason with machettes.

   decided to go barefoot, because i'm always thinking outside the socks

   reality shows about cake bosses, exterminators, ghost chasing plumbers, douchey Jersey people , pawn brokers, repo guys, and vapid celebutards... what's next? A show about paint drying?

   as bored as a midget in a theme park

   has come to the conclusion that people who think they are better than anybody else have to think that way because no one else thinks they are...

   Do you really have to like everything on Facebook....????

   A study reported that iPhone users have more sex. Most likely cause is that there's an app for that.

   How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.

   baffled how I have to wake up early every day and deal with people who are unpleasant and David Carusso still has an acting job.

   Apparently, all those good looking people in the swimsuit catalogs go to a different beach than I do.

   Watching tear jerker movies and eating big bowls of ice cream .. anybody got a Tampax ?

   officially resigning from adulthood!!! ...if you want to discuss this further you'll have to catch me first, cos... "Tag! You're it."

   the leader of the show, make the ladies say "Oh!"

   Tiger Woods' golf game, marriage crumbles. I guess going from 120 holes down to 18 has been too hard an adjustment for him!

   going downhill from now on! HEY. that's the way I roll....

   Archaeologists have discoved the site of Britain's oldest house. It is also believed to be the house in which the Stones first got togather.

   Wal-mart employee-"can I help you"? Me-"do you have anything i'd like". Employee-"how would I know what you'd like"? Me-"you started this".

   Your follicles are ugly! Your roots are a joke! I have seen better parts in a mechanic shop!!...Oops sorry, I was teasing my hair.