Funny Status Messages

   Charles Rangel has been accused of 13 violations of Congressional ethical standards. I'm surprised that Congress has ethics standards.

   Drag racing would be a lot more fun if I didn't have to wear a dress.

   I hate it when at the drive thru they give you 2 packs of sauce sauce for a 10 nuggets, but 2 packs of ketchup for a large fry! WTF?!

   now playing "Ice Ice Baby" Dont Judge Me

   just read that burglars use Facebook to find out when people aren't home... so from now on, i'm at home, with a knife, and a hungry alligator (:

   its not that I cant do a rubiks cube its just your colorblind.. :)

   best way to start a day is with a happy ending!!

   If you don't like my words, don't listen. If you don't like my appearance, don't look. If you don't like my actions, turn your head; It's as simple as that.

   damn mu gigantic thumbs on this litle blavkbetry keyborsd

   Yea your in my room. I can be as almost naked as I want...

   I think NASCAR would be fun if they added a 92-year old driving the opposite way in a Duster.

   that myspace and facebook should team up together so that you can invite your friends to come on myface.

   It's not that the elderly drive badly. It's just that they're the only ones with the time to do the speed limit.

   I live and yearn.

   Honey, remember to address the dog as "Dr." Scruffy. We didn't pay for eight years of post-grad obedience school for nothing.

   I really hope cell phones aren't bad for us, but I would like the excuse: 'I can't talk right now. You're giving me cancer.'

   A man in Atlanta is raising money for charity by not speaking for a month and only communicating on facebook. Is there anyway to get "the view" and Oprah on board for this?

   once I get a grip on reality I plan on choking it to death...

   I'm just a man but if you want I can still be your superman or prince charming! ♥

   sufferring from two different mental disorders: OCD, and extreme laziness. it's an ever-present conflict. The will to maintain order vs the desire to not do a single thing about it.