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Everyone freaking about how 2021 sounds like 2020 won. . . Well 2022 is gonna sound like 2020 too. 
Facebook: Where content takes a back seat to cleavage.
In the summer it was to hot outside now it's to cold outside to take the Christmas lights down.
You think your week sucks? Tanya Roberts died twice!
I just let a stinky one rip and my wife said, "Jeeziz, you just took me to Funkytown."
Sometimes you have throw away perfectly good printer paper to hide all the candy wrappers in your trash can.
I received my first unsolicited goat pic. Not kidding.
Sorry, my husband really tends to frown on me dating.
Me: my wife says I catastrophize everything Therapist: *chuckling* how is she doing? Me: I don’t know she hasn’t returned my texts for over five minutes I think she’s dead
Lysol kills 99.9% of germs, yet you’re still here.
I have unrealistic expectations of my anti aging cream
For Sale. Slightly used Christmas tree. Prefer to do socially distance exchange and will place in front of house for you pickup. Leave money in neighbor's mailbox.
I celebrated 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.
Hope all of you who received a book from me for Christmas thoroughly enjoy them! Oh and don't forget they need to be back the library by the 30th.
This $600 causing problems already. My cousin drove by here real slow. And I only owe him $8...tf
And just like that, the left support police officers.
Well it was a solid 5 days. Here's to 2022! 🥂
If I post something that you don’t like, just ignore it like you ignore the corruption of the government.
I'd like to cancel my subscription to 2021. I've experienced the 7-Day Free Trial and I'm not interested.
Remember when our biggest fear in 2019 was lettuce? 