Funny Status Messages

   An Australian kiss is same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

   Three biggest tragedies in a mans life...Life sucks, job sucks, and the wife doesn't..

   THERE IS A VIRUS SPREADING LIKE WILDFIRE ON FB. DO NOT ACCEPT ANYTHING FROM ANY OF YOUR FRIENDS THAT ASK YOU TO PLAY FARMVILLE. SNOPES JUST CONFIRMED IT WILL CONTROL YOUR LIFE & TURN YOU INTO A LOSER. PLEASE REPOST THIS IN YOUR STATUS.

   ..wishes her hair was blonde. That way,it wouldn't have a mind of it's own like it does this morn. X

   There's a right time to mind; and a right time to nevermind......

   Being a mime means never having to say you're sorry.

   Why does it take longer to build a blond snowman???? Because you have to hollow the head out.....

   you can type up a whole paragraph that doesn't make any sence whatsoever and people will wonder what's wrong with you.. but if you end it with a smiley face. then it's all good." :)

   doesn't want you to call me lazy until you've walked a couple of steps in my flip-flops.

   Dear Ghetto Mom...no one is going to hire your chils named Shaniquillla

   Its fun to see blue water turn green after I pee in it...see kids, science is fun...

   Saving money on her car insurance by fleeing the scene of an accident.

   If I told you the Brooklyn Bridge was for sale would you buy it? Well I don't buy your bullsh!t either!

   Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so are you but the roses are wilting the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.

   America, the land of the free.....unless you're an American!

   I do NOT have an attitude problem... Yes, I may have the attitude, but YOU'RE the one that seems to have a problem with it...

   my ex-girlfriend is a famous porn star. But would she be pissed if she found out

   Adam's first words to Eve: "Stand back, I don`t know how big this thing gets!"

   Don't hate me because I´m good, hate me because I know it!!!

   America, home of the brave...land of the broke!