Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
Ladies, it doesn't hurt to douche y'know 
Pitbull's videos = 10% music, 90% porn, 0% hair
Just saw one my friends post a status saying "if you ♥ your FACEBOOK ;) #Likke".....Truth is no one really likes FB its just an addiction.
Better late than pregnant.
just had a 4 course breakfast.....Three Bloody Mary's and an Egg McMuffin!
Just got back from the gym. Well chuffed as they've got a new machine in. I only used it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It does everything - KitKats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Crisps, the lot....
When I'm watching a 3D movie I take the glasses off for a second to see the difference.
hanging out with his cousin, Ahmed. Or as you know him Dave from AT&T customer services.
I love the looks that can only be shared with you and another customer in a grocery line
Best part of living alone...clothing optional
A Dang Owl outside won't shut up... It keeps asking me "WHO"... I've said Mike Jones like 30 times
Dear Fox News, So far, no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed.
I seen a New Cartoon on MTV, The opening line was a kid telling his mom she smelt like Balls and Old Spice. Epic moment
You obviously dont know me very well. I'm smiling, and your not running...
there any good boxers named mario? would love to see super mario fight pac man
thinks I feel great when I go to bed drunk. I wake up feeling crap. Obviously sleep is bad for you!!!!
Never let on to your kids that the shower dramatically changes temperature when the toilet is flushes. Otherwise, you've just given them a new favorite pastime.
Kinda glad the "You Broke It, You Bought It" policy doesn't apply .to people
My wife has been worried about her weight...i told her to keep her chins up...
Its makes me young again when I jack off with baby lotion..lol 