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Sorry to say, but if you're celebrating Veterans Day by calling into work so you can stay home and play Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3, then you're doing it wrong. 
To anyone who would risk their lives for their country foreign or domestic, I tip my hat to you.
It's better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than to just stare at that line for the rest of your life.
I hate when the person I Facebook-stalk never updates anything
Want to surprise you girlfriend? Introduce her to your boyfriend.. :O
Want to surprise your girlfriend? Introduce her to your girlfriend
So a celebrity can just mention a product on Twitter and then they get them sent to them for free? OVEN MITTS!!!
We Cant Be Together. It's not you, it's me. I can't be with someone who sucks.
I'd like to thank the TSA for keeping Americans safe by taking that full-body scan naked photo of my Mom.
Decades of vets went out & sacrificed their lives so you can eat a McRib & complain about how much your country sucks.
I like to get paid daily and laid daily. Does anyone know how I can combine the two?
Does anybody know if their is a place hiring someone too stand there and look pretty cuz I have a PhD in that sh*t...
"Danger" is my middle name!! Unfortunately "Stranger" is my first.
If I get a tattoo of a grape, in time when I age, will it gradually transform itself into a raisin?
A wise man once said: You can't be old & wise, if you were never young & crazy.
The trouble with quotes on the internet is that it's difficult to determine whether or not they are genuine. - Abraham Lincoln
Why the "McRib" which is made from "McAss" and tastes like "McPuke" is so popular, is beyond my comprehension!
THUNDERSTICK 5000: Replacing boyfriends since... ummm... gee... (scratches head)... ummm... (Googles)... well, ummmm... way before xbox!
The old lady in line at CVS had a stray thread on her sweater. I pulled it and her entire central nervous system unraveled.
Some people can kill two birds with one stone.... I on the other hand can kill 2 pigs with one bird! 