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off to the voting booth. Bigfoot prepare to get elected. 
A cat falls in a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story...A wet pu$$y makes a c0ck happy..
Believe it or not WOMAN has MAN in it. FEMALE has MALE in it. SHE has HE in it. MADAM has ADAM in it, no wonder men always want to be inside a woman.
We are PERFECTLY, wrong for each other.
Growing old is a requirement, Growing up is an option..
Don't do upon others what you wouldn't have them do upon you...well unless she ASKS you to put it in there.
If you leave out Weight Watchers cookies I will burn your house down. - SANTA
SORRY HATER I don't speak bulls**t; but, I do know sign-language now, read my middle finger.
it me or does Herman Cain's latest accuser, Sharon Bialek, look like Stifler's mom?
Whenever someone asks, "you look familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond with, "Well do you watch porn...?"
You want confessions? Lock a person in a room with a laptop, a facebook account & a bottle of booze ...
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Don't hang onto what you can live with; grab a hold of what you can't live without!!!
I'm sick of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had a woman from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful...
so there I was, stuck behind a bus at a red light. A group of kid turned around and stuck their tongues out at me. So I flipped them off, I'm not goin out like no b*tch!!
I had a falling out with a co-worker when he found out I slept with his sister. We're cool now. He is even teaching me Spanish. Now I can order steak(Soy un idiota que tiene sexo con las vacas). Thanks Javier!!
The only reason why your girlfriend likes your d!ck, it because her momma told her to enjoy the little things in life
That terrifying moment; when you rub your eyes for too long and you go blind for like 10 seconds.
well atleast LA knows how to convict GUILTY people . . . maybe FL could learn a few pointers??? . . .
I had my family tree done… turns out I'm a quarter gay on my father's side. 