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If you don't have a Facebook account, all your high school friends just assume you died. 
Casey Anthony turned up missing after being released from jail....Florida police plan on sending officers to investigate it----In 31 days.
I do my best proofreading right after I hit send
You may be worthless to one person, but priceless to another. You just have to be smart enough to differentiate between the two.
Love is in the air...and i'm wearing a gas mask.
Why are you tryin so hard to fit in when you are born to stand out
Certain things which are crucial to a given activity will show up with uncommon regularity until the day when that activity is planned, at which point the thing in question will disappear from the face of the earth.
A man was arrested after he broke into a sex shop & used a blow-up doll. He was chrgd with breaking & entering & entering.
My friend accused me of gossiping. I took offense because I've heard from several sources that she is the one that gossips.
Game Day...Here's to hoping USA wins the world cup, and a Hope Solo flash ; )
eating pop rocks and drinking pop. Aint dead yet..
We all could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Modern music is like Taco Bell. They keep coming up with new things using the same seven ingredients.
What are the two most important holes in a woman's body?...No, its not them you dirty bastards - its her nostrils....They allow her to breathe while she is sucking your cock
You know you've entered a ghetto neighborhood when you see a pair of shoes hanging from a telephone wire.
Dear Raisin Bran: Two scoops my a$$.
"I wasn't that drunk." "Dude, you asked your girlfriend if she was single."
Someone just told me that everything that I see in the internet isn't true.......so does that mean that there's no beautiful singles in my area dying to meet me?
my stomach is going "grr". does it hate me?
Let be grateful for the people who make us happy and get rid of the deadwood that makes us sad. 