Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 1740 of 5594

   messageicon Anger is an emotion for people who wish to control others while simultaneously failing to control themselves.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 15:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon the next person that tells me they have a 3 day weekend is getting a firework shoved up their poop shoot!
←Rate | 07-02-2011 16:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 16:36 by Boomtastic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please put this on your status if you know someone or are related to someone who suffers from stupidity. People need to understand that stupidity is real & should be taken seriously. You could be sitting next to a sufferer right now.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 16:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You really do need to quite teasing my with these pokes
←Rate | 07-02-2011 17:17 by Mahdi H Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wore a leisure suit to work and didn't get a thing done.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 18:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear haters, I'm not your enemy. I'm your hero.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 18:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon HELP! I am a man trapped in a womans body! So does anybody know how to get out of position number 47 of the Kama-Sutra?
←Rate | 07-02-2011 18:37 by Jennythe1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon now friends with the man on the moon,and 10 other supernatural beings.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 19:37 by rezz/boy Comments (0)  


   messageicon I needed to find a donut shop. I didn't want to attempt to start up the GPS on my phone while driving. I followed a cop. It took 4 minutes.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 20:12 by Hot Tea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw Transformers.... Greatest Transformer movie ever. I thought the lack of any actual Transformers was a bit odd, but Jim Carrey was hilarious & those penguins were adorable!
←Rate | 07-02-2011 20:41 by mustangdru Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when people can't be original when they post a status. They find something funny and clever then pass it off as their own. Copy/paste this status if you believe in originality.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 21:25 by Paul Harrison Comments (0)  


   messageicon I lost my second job, but I'm glad she moved out.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 21:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life makes you wise and Bud makes you weiser.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 21:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If we are what we eat... I'm fast, cheap and easy.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 21:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Definition of the word f**ked: When a man has a truck payment, a house payment, a wife, AND girlfriend...... And they're all a month late.
←Rate | 07-02-2011 21:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your ship has sailed, chase that damn thing down!
←Rate | 07-02-2011 22:15 by PEP Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time your in a car with someone who doesnt like your driving, wait till they're quiet and swerve on the road, then just normally say, "Ah, stupid ghost cars.."
←Rate | 07-02-2011 22:19 by PEP Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would watch NASCAR if the drivers had had as much to drink as the fans.
←Rate | 07-03-2011 00:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I fall down a public venue, "Did anyone see me" totally outranks "Am I ok" on the thought process.
←Rate | 07-03-2011 00:49 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left