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If you're physically knocking someone down to get into the Casey Anthony trial then you need a letter from a mental health specialist proving why you're unemployable 
I have come to the conclusion that people who have had their statuses disliked will go on a revenge mission and dislike other people's statuses no matter how good they are.
That awkward moment when you run into an EX that you have purposely avoided and broke up with on FB.
Mr. Kevorkian: Lifes a fragile thing. one minute your chewing on a burger, the next minute your dead meat...
It takes longer than 2 years to clean up 8 years of Elephant Dung but feel free to blame it on the guy with the broom.
I can't tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi, or right and wrong for that matter.
Okay, I'll stop. But shouldn't I listen first, THEN collaborate?
K.Y. Slip-n-Slide party at my place tonight!
You might as well do your Christmas hinting early...
ThatMomentOfPanic as a kid when one of your parents is coming at you with a belt..................."Do I stay or do I run!!!"
If you aren't going to neuter your male dog then please make him wear underwear. I don't wanna see his junk anymore than I wanna see your's.
Satisfied isnt her telling you how great you were afterwards....Satisfied is her being unable too speak afterwards...I Do Work Son!!
I hate when I find parking space and there's already a motorcycle parked in it.
Found your nose again...it was in my business! Watched your wedding video backwards again...my favorite part it where he takes off the ring and leaves the church!
Ok... I was thinking My wife has 988 friends on FaceBook and knows 15 of them in person I have only 66 BUT I know ALL of them......???
Relationships are like sharing a book. It doesn't work if you're not on the same page.
Love me? Great. Hate me? Even better. Think I'm ugly? Don't look at me. Don't know me? Don't judge me. Think you know me? You have no idea
Life may not always give us chances, but it always gives us choices.
I remember when 69 was just a number..BJ's was just a store.. & doggy style was a way to swim.
I put my WELCOME mat on the inside of my house so the world doesn't seem so scary when I leave. 