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wondering if anyone's considered the possibility that the Mayan calender ends on 12/21/2012 not because it's the end of the world but because they just couldn't be bothered to add any more pages to it? 
Did you know birthday cake is the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody still rushes to get a piece?
Why is that the world is always going to end on a weekend? Why not Monday morning, ideally before I have to get up and go to work?
Well Brittney you have two days left of dancing until the world ends...
hopes those of you who aren't funny are the first do go on saturday.
it's not that I'm bad at remembering names, I'm just awesome at forgetting them.
since the world is ending on saturday you should send pictures of your breasts now before it's too late.
Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools and idiots are on the same side.
The term “nymphomaniac” has been shortened to “college girls”.
Maybe nows a good time to change my status from aethist to very religious and it's complicated.
I'm opening up a special school for b@#$tard maid babies, I'm calling it "The Oprah Winfrey School For Bas@#d Maid Babies"
Someone should tell Palin that using the term "lamestream media" makes her sound like an '80's movie bully. But maybe I'm just a spazwad.
WARNING: If you can read this, then you are too close to procrastinating.
I think instead of the "Poke" button on Facebook there should be "Punch in the Face" button.
Beyonces new song is so horrible i'd rather hear Betty White & John McCain make sex noises.
The so called 'rapture' doesn't apply to me, mainly because I have more than half a brain and think the bible is the best story ever written, if only J K Rowling was about at least it would have had wizards in it!
A vampire goes into a bar and asks for boiling water. The barman says "I thought you only drank blood?" The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says "I'm making tea".
That awkward moment when you say goodbye to someone and then both walk in the same direction..
1:00 in the afternoon and no one is on xbox live? What do people have to do this early in the morning that's sooo important you can't play call of duty?
I see that that they have released a "new" tape from Osama bin Laden. Great, it's going to be just like Tupac and Biggie, more recordings released after they were dead than when they were alive. 