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The two big events seem to be the Royal Wedding, and the NFL draft, Why not combine the two and see What postion does William take Kate in the First Round!! 
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something from the floor while you get up.
FACT: If you don't own a suit, you get to stay in your twenties forever.
It may take a village to raise a child. But it only takes one condom to save them the hassle.
I'm not only a workaholic, I drink at home too.
OMG! Got an invite to The Royal Wedding! YES! Wait, oh crap, it's for the wedding of Ted and Nancy Royal in Columbus, OH.
save a tree...eat a beaver
Does time fly when you're having sex or was it really just one minute?
Money talks...but all mine ever says is "good-bye."
The republican party are "carnival barkers"
I think McGlovin and Obama got their ID at the same place
Wanna feel confident and attractive? Me too! Let's all get drunk!
i dont get it? if pandas eat bamboo all the time why are they so fat???
im two short of a three sum. wheres ben&jerry?
Twitter was invented to teach women how to communicate silently in 140 characters or less.
The only Royal Crown I'm interested in at 4am is some Crown Royal..
Now accepting applications for FWB. Several positions open. Please email me photos and resume.
You're lucky to be born so beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar.
Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye.
all the QUEEN'S horses and ALL the QUEEN'S MEN could not get me up at 4am for THOSE wedding SHENANIGANS!!! 