Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
I don't have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine! 
My blood type is Dutch Bros.
2 beers $12, 3 margaritas $15, 4 jello shots $20 dollars, taking home the girl who drank all the above... priceless
Feels sorry for K-9 drug sniffin dogs on their day off.....what do you mean we're not going to work....you don't understand mannnnn.
at the current rate of the economy hookers are gonna be giving away toasters soon.
Every thing I know about politics, I learned from School House Rocks.
❒Flossin' ❒Ballin' ✔Bill Gaten'
"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" -- Abraham Lincoln
"Be excellent to each other." ~ Bill S. Preston Esquire & Ted "Theodore" Logan
I read someone gets divorced every 10 to 13 seconds. I'm not one to judge people, but that guy gets married wayyy too much.
These voices in my head are really annoying , but sometimes they come up with a good idea .
Just did 50 push ups. Really only 5 but 50 looks better on facebook
If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.
The word "Excellent" has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his Grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I would call him an "excellent" shot, but I don't think that's what Bill and Ted meant by "Be Excellent to each other!"
Seems like life had more meaning back when pluto was still a planet. Now I don't really know what to live for anymore...Live for that next beer, perhaps?
I don't know about y'all but every time I see that Direct TV commercial...I really want a miniature giraffe.
I would rather bleed to death than give up a fight!
ten years from now facebook "friends in common" we all be related to adam and eve
saw an elevator today with a sign that said "this elevator does not go down." Guess it was a Christian elevator
loving him some father son and holy spirit right. I love ya Jesus 