Reuben Funny Status Messages

   No need to thank me for accepting your friend request. We'll both regret it soon enough.

   Respect to the women who loved us at our worst when we had nothing, women who patiently watched us grow from boys to men, helped us work for everything we have today, blessed us with love, support and loyalty and never asked for anything in return.

   WARNING: Life portrayed on Facebook maybe more screwed up than it appears.

   I think there is one thing both genders can agree on, neither one want Justin Bieber in their gender.

   Facebook does NOT ruin relationships. Relationships ruin Facebook.

   Some people just need a sympathetic pat... on the head... with a hammer.

   HER: "You are like my umbrella" HIM: "Because I protect you?" HER: "No, because you don't get me wet."

   You can't be rocking the same pair of jeans for 3 straight days and claim you got SAWG.

   My life has changed for the better ever since I decided to let God take care of my problems and Karma take care of my enemies.

   Everyone is FAKE one way or another. Whether it's their hair, their ascent, their boobs, their Gucci bag, their personality, or their smile.

   Some things just never change. You know that kid who used to steal your favourite toy only to break it and throw it away? Now he is the douchebag who steals your girlfriend, use and break her heart then dump her.

   “Are you asleep?” “No! I was in a comma, thanks for saving me."

   Fellas: If most of you lazy b@stards handled your business well between the sheets there would be fewer lesbians in the world.

   Some people act like they love me and I act like I love them too.