Pong Lenis Funny Status Messages

   Contrary to popular belief, it's actually the fat that makes you look fat. It was never the dress

   I forgot to post on Facebook that I was going to Starbucks, check-in there, take a picture with my coffee with Instagram, and add a caption of how good it was, while including two Twitter hashtags #Starbucks #GreatDay

   They say money doesn't buy happiness, so I'm willing to go out of my comfort zone and test out that theory for $100,000,000. I promise to document any frowning while paragliding, jet skiing, driving a Lambo or flying in my G5

   It only takes a second to show someone how you really feel about them... the cops call it indecent exposure, but whatever

   Facebook now lets you put a star on the people you want to follow more closely. I was going to do that until I realized... isn't that what Hitler did?