Kado Funny Status Messages

   When Jimmy Garoppolo said he watches a lot of film, I thought it was talking about football

   Fact: African Americans make up 13.3% of the US population. Fact African Americans make up 70% of the NFL. Fact: Average NFL Salary: $1.9 million. And these are the guys protesting "Oppression"?

   Note to the Administrators of PowerBall, I think you should award a prize for not having any of the numbers selected in Wednesdays $579 million drawing! Signed, Not a Fan of Missouri and Arizona

   Dallas Cowboys drafted one of the Duck Dynasty Brothers

   Today is World Middle Finger Day...use it

   NFL Draft tonight....can't wait to hear the Jets fans moan about their 1st choice!

   What do the Argentina World Cup soccer team and BP have in common? A Messi!

   I had the scariest dream last night...Donald Trump's running mate was Rosie O'Donnell!!!

   Think someone is pitching "Keeping up with Kanye"? What a Deutche

   Why can't my camera take the same picture I see when I look in the mirror?

   Dear 2016, for the love of all that's holy... Please take Rosie O'Donnell too..

   - Like Kermit says, "It isn't easy being Rob Green"

   What Obama's secretary should have said, "Why don't you play #17 twice, its a nice par 3"

   Uh Oh...just what we need, a Pope with a Foot Fetish

   Finally able to check off Bucket list #19 - Surf through New York City

   thinking...almost 70 years ago the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor. Come this Sunday the US Women's soccer team is going to torpedo Japan!

   Can't believe Gronk didn't wait until 6/9 to retire!

   Writing a book - it's about a good looking high level general in an Islamic country that wants to change his daily routine. So he makes a deal with a world power to fake his death. In return for his intel, he gets a massive payout & 70 hookers in Miami!

   Guess Harrison Ford couldn't make the jump to Light Speed in his World War 2 vintage plane...

   It's a shame that Ghana's Asamoah Gyan couldn't score a sure thing like Bill Clinton would have!