Fazzzzzzzzz Funny Status Messages

   I'm lonelier than Colin Kaepernick at a Garth Brooks concert.

   I just saw my shadow. That means six more weeks of salads. 🥗

   Q. What individual did the biggest favor ever for two people? A. The one who stood up when the minister said, 'Speak now, or forever hold your peace.'

   Q. What are the two most frequented words the groom will say after he says "I do?" A. "Yes, dear."

   In terms of fractions, the football quarterback is more revered than the halfback or the fullback. Does that mean if there was an eighthback, he'd be considered Godlike?