@ryanmilano Funny Status Messages

   “I’ve never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question.” R.I.P. Mr. Spock

   Hash tagging more than a few times in a post is like wearing Ed Hardy.

   Attention: Today only you can buy #googleglass for $1500 and look like an even bigger D-bag! It even matches your bluetooth earpiece.

   I hope Mexico doesn't raise the cost of Tequila and Produce to pay for this wall.

   Facebook so fresh, you can taste the rainbow

   She enjoys long romantic scrolls on her phone. But still claims to be in touch with reality.

   Just found a message in a bottle..... It read,, "I'm taking it all with me b*tches." - Sting

   Does anyone else think that maybe the bright side could be self-conscious?

   Sometimes I find myself feeling hopeful for the future of the human race, but then I remember there are grown ups who like Pokémon Go.