Mickey Funny Status Messages

   "I don't know why poor people hate me. There's always a new refrigerator box in my front yard for them to use."~ Rush Limbaugh

   Perhaps when facebook goes public, they'll be able to afford servers that don't remind me of the unreliable one's who work the graveyard shift at Denny's.

   Beauty is directly correlated to 3D...Darkness, Distance, and Drunkedness.

   I've told you a million times...don't exaggerate.

   Internet searches get you many results, most are different and leaves one more confused than before the search. As a source for answers, the much lauded "Super Information Highway" has become the "Road To Nowhere".

   Screvving with a rubber is like eating steak with a balloon on your tongue.

   My donations to the food driver are bittersweet. I give, but it's canned sliced beets and Beefaroni.

   I'm taking my girl to a Psychologist/Gynecologist. Maybe he's the one who can finally help her understand why she's such a ¢unt.

   All the immortals survived St. Paddy's Day I see? Let us mere mortals now join our brethren and worship at our place of choice to further along that regressive human trait known as hypocrisy.

   Happy Hump Day means zip to the 15% who work weekends, the 30% who do six days a week, 8% unemployed, 10% disabled, 15% on call, and the 20% who are retired. To the 2% that this actually applies to....bl0w me.

   Polling showed 27% of the USA bet on Atlanta to win. Must've been conducted by CNN.

   There's always that one person who doesn't get it. Don't be that person, no...don't be that person.

   G0D has granted me the Midas Touch. So far today, everything I've touched has turned to gold. Wha? Oh. Heh heh. No more Cheetos for breakfast.

   My sofa loves playing hide n' seek with the remotes, clever ba$tard always wins too.

   I have as much interest in golf as I have in golf.

   My girfriend's a h00ker with an IQ of 178. What a f**king know-it-all.

   The Bible says, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife." It doesn't say anything about the one who lives across town.

   So facebook is now making Poke suggestions. And it could be anything on your friends list. God knows I've always wanted to f**k the s**t out of McDonald's.

   COVID is going to be an excuse for horrible restaurant service for years to come.

   I don't care what anyone says. MySpace is NOT dead. I just friended two hotties. Wilma and Betty. In ya face, suckas!