Monday Funny Status Messages

   I finally got a new prophetic leg... I'm starting physical therapy on Monday.... Also Courteney Cox dies while parasailing next May...

   Judging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed, I'm assuming it's Monday.

   I see you Monday and I ain't Scared !

   b#tches are like Monday's - nobody likes them but everybody has to deal with them!

   The week has seven days: Monday, Monday, Monday, Monday, Friday, Saturday and preMonday.

   Damn! It's finally beer thirty! See you f uckers Monday!!

   you remind me of monday. No one likes it either.

   It's Monday, and a strong possibility I may hurt someone!

   Drank like 3 Four Lokos and some hand sanitizer last night, blacked out and apparently officiated a Monday Night Football game.

   Show me on this doll where the evil Monday touched you.

   have you ever noticed that Monday and Mundane sound almost the same? Coincidence? I think not!!!

   In the words of Mike Tyson, "I am gonna **** this Monday until it loves me"

   My girlfriend has been trying out her new schoolgirl outfit I brought her earlier today. Which is a shame........Can't believe she's back to school on Monday already.

   Monday morning coffee is just as important as friday night liquor....almost.

   that I have been married for 21 years andwe have had $ex almost everyday....almost Monday,almost Tuesday,almost Wednesday.....

   Wednesday... As most of you call it Hump day, I like to call it the 3rd Monday of the week.

   Just as I suspected! Monday suxs!!!!

   shhhh.. i'm waiting behind the door. gonna blindside monday with a swift kick in nuggets.

   I'm pretty sure God created only 6 days, Monday was definitely made by Satan.

   went out on a Friday and woke up one Monday in Bratislava chained and naked on a bench in the lap of an unknown man named Miroslav