Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
Go ahead and hide out there now Waldo. Jerk. 
I cant stand online scammers! And if you and all your friends would like to learn how to avoid them send me $19.95 and I'll tell you how!
Not sure what the guy below is saying. I'm a property manager with a company that has hundreds of rentals. Only 4 are late.
Does anyone fancy breaking the curfew and coming out for a few drinks on Boxing Day?
I don’t know about you guys but I have been receiving at least 10 “potential spam” calls a day. I am not answering unless they bring me pre paid Visa cards.
Sitting here wondering. Did anyone ever figure out where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
Ya OK .... The extent of my being a real tough assed dude .... Is kinda limited to humming "Bad to the Bone!" ..... While eating my smoked baby back ribs. Like I say .... I'm a real Tough Ass!!!
A woman looked DEEP into my eyes today, I was feeling it, then she ruined it by saying I needed glasses.
I wish that Toyota girl would go places.
It’s all fun & games until feelings & emotions get involved then it becomes life.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you break the monotony.
I want to see a volcano erupt because I have an interest in geology. I want to see one erupt under your house because you're an a$$hole
1million bucks from the new fantasy game doesn't go far. gas alone gonna take half when you buy any car.
regretting his decision to celebrate hump day by getting a camel tattooed on his big toe!
pounding vicobeer at 11 in the morning!
Why man up when you can down a margarita?
If some of you all put your heads together..We would only get some dandruff.
just been given two weeks to live.The girlfriends gone away for a fortnight.
I finally know what I wana be for Halloween this year....18 Again! How scary would that be!
It is amazing how life is full of the most beautiful things, some people see them as beautiful and bright, some see them as dark and mysterious, is there always a bright light at the end? I'm just glad I can see them! 