Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Girls having more guy friends because they cause less drama...

   Miley Cyrus is going to coach and mentor the Top 11 Finalists on American Idol...In related news, the same agent has booked Tiger Woods to be the mentor on The Bachelor ...

   Men may have created fire but women have discovered the art of playing with it..

   Can the govt mge health care? I think not, look at the cash 4 clunkers. Mths after it ended dealers were still not paid. Guess the docs will wait 6 + months to receive their pymt. The cash 4 clunkers was a blip on the radar in size compared to health care

   instead of fighting over healthcare the government should just legalize-marijuana. then when we are all stoned then they can do what they want and we will all be to ripped to care

   they say you shouldnt mix business with pleasure....so how does the adult industry operate...

   Barack Obama is pro-life, as long as that life is on death row!

   I was watching Spongebob with my Daughter the other day and she left the room. It's bad enough, I found myself still watching it by myself. But..... what's even odder is that I realized the irony that Mr. Krabs lives in Bikini Bottom.

   thinks that Hitler has a lot to answer for- not so much the genoside - mass murdering- god complex- and many other stuff! But also the fact that little stubby tashes can never be fashionable! Ive just tried - it'd suit me ;-)

   Nancy Pelosi: Doing to health care what she did to her face!

   Was I the only one creeped out by watching, "The Time Travelers Wife"??? Nude adult male in the woods.....Six year old girl??? Just a little weird for a movie.

   Sometimes I wish I could be like Jeff Probst from Survivor. I'd love to walk into a Shift Briefing at work and say,"The Tribe Has Spoken"!!! Then walk over and extinguish their torch and tell them to pack their belongings and get the @#$% out!!!

   wondering " Why Beyonce not wearing a G-string in Telephone Video with Lady Gaga??"

   instead of fighting over healthcare the government should give everyone skittles because they make everyone happy!

   effective way of getting back at someone is to ask them a yes or no question like this - "Have you stopped putting your head up ur a$$ these days ?"

   Pobody's nerfect. :)

   a good listener (under the current definition of Kin Hubbard:"a good listener is usually thinking of something else")

   going to have you naked by the end of ths status

   asks Where Were You When the Republic Died?

   Be my Tom and I will be your Jerry.