Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5886 of 6371
Regreting is only a waste of time. if something happened,accept that it happened and there is nothing that can be done to change it.just be happy that it is not yet the end of the world.
←Rate |
05-31-2010 22:39 by BEGO
Comments (0)
I wish, with a passion, that I could find the strength to give you one more chance.
←Rate |
05-31-2010 22:38 by BEGO
Comments (1)
In Light Of BP's Recent Accident They Are Offering Everyone Free Oil. You Just Have To Come Pick It Up At Any Location In The Gulf Coast..
←Rate |
05-31-2010 20:53 by Mcdyver
Comments (0)
A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.
←Rate |
05-31-2010 20:11 by Tracy
Comments (0)
likes waking up after a nap and finding out theres a whole night to go with that kinky dream!"
←Rate |
05-31-2010 18:34
Comments (0)
"Every time I see a mattress on top of a car I think it's a prostitute making house calls."
←Rate |
05-31-2010 18:28 by Shannon
Comments (0)
Can I have your phone number, so I can call you the next time I have a 4 hour erection?
←Rate |
05-31-2010 17:33
Comments (0)
pretty drowsy......he's pretty sure he has a nap for that....
"We can still be friends" is like saying "Hey, the dog died but we can keep it"
←Rate |
05-31-2010 16:58 by Laurent
Comments (0)
Definition of stupid; person who locks their keys in the car...and it takes them an hour to get their family out.
←Rate |
05-31-2010 15:43 by Stellar M
Comments (0)
...easy there, don't cry, it's OK. Everyone makes mistakes...take your parents for example
←Rate |
05-31-2010 15:33 by Stellar M
Comments (0)
I'm not feeling myself today... anyone else wanna try?
Since practice makes perfect, I must thank my parents for not givin' up on the first try. :)
preparing for confession. Anyone have an unused condom?
←Rate |
05-31-2010 15:00 by X
Comments (0)
"Money cannot buy you happiness but id rather cry in my ferrari...."
←Rate |
05-31-2010 14:32
Comments (0)
Broken guitar for sale - no strings attached.
←Rate |
05-31-2010 14:12 by Aaron
Comments (0)
- I heard my mates's girlfriend say to him..."You'd be fitter if you exercised you lazy f**k".....I could't help myself interrupting and said to her...."You'd be a lot f**kin fitter if you were your sister"....
←Rate |
05-31-2010 13:55 by Y.P
Comments (0)
At the beach life is different. Time doesn't move hour to hour but mood to moment. We live by the currents, plan by the tides and follow the sun.
If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?
←Rate |
05-31-2010 12:52 by Bacha
Comments (0)
The tip of the day: Never take a laxative and a sleeping pill on the same night!
←Rate |
05-31-2010 12:18
Comments (0)