Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5881 of 6370
all for the "going green" thing, but she just can't bring herself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
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06-02-2010 15:40
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thinks we will soon know if Al Gore still believes in cap and trade after divorce redistributes HIS wealth
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06-02-2010 15:07
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blames Al and Tippers divorce on all of those hung Chads...
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06-02-2010 15:06
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rumor is that Tipper Gore is suing for half the Internet.
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06-02-2010 14:51
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what do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? full
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06-02-2010 14:34
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On a walk, my stepdaughter saw a pay phone, asked what it was. I made him look it up on his Blackberry.
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06-02-2010 14:17 by Joser
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I use really strong sunblock. It's SPF 100. I squeeze the tube and a sweater comes out.
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06-02-2010 14:16 by Joser
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How come so many people Roll On The Floor *Laughing*? If I'm rolling on the floor, it's usually because I'm on fire. Send help.
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06-02-2010 14:13 by Joser
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If age is just a number, can I get mine unlisted?
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06-02-2010 14:12 by Joser
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I can't believe I paid $6 for diahrea thanks Taco Bell!
I always confuse the words exotic and erotic. That made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.
I can never remember whether or not I'm supposed to mess with Texas.
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06-02-2010 14:05 by Joser
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Match.com says it's responsible for more dates leading to marriages that any other online site. And yet, it has no warning label.
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06-02-2010 14:04 by Joser
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The fine print on Krazy Glue reads, "The only two things this product will successfully attach are your fingers and this tube."
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06-02-2010 14:03 by Joser
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Only spell it "errbody" if literally each person in the club is gettin tipsy.
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06-02-2010 14:02 by Joser
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making love to your pregnant wife is like putting gas in a car you've already wrecked.
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06-02-2010 13:12 by Tracy
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on a seefood diet,,,, I see food and eat it
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06-02-2010 12:34
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I don't think of Canada as a different country, I think of it more like, America's Hat, because they've always got us covered. Same goes for Mexico, I think of them as Americas Legs, because without them, none of the labor would get done.
in the last stall of the men's/women's bathroom at the library. Could someone please bring me some toilet paper?!
Two eyebrows are better than one.
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06-02-2010 12:05 by @TeeWuu86
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