Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Ok so everyone was bustin' Bush for hurricane Katrina in new orleans .... now where the hell is obama when we're having the biggest natural disaster in history .... its been 6 weeks, wtf is he doin besides watching the playoffs
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06-06-2010 08:21 by Mr. Ryan
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I Love You like HELL!!! Its just that I don't want to DIE ;)
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06-06-2010 06:00
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I met a woman last night who said she would take me to heaven for $50. Damn these religious fanatics and their annoying fund-raising scams
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06-06-2010 01:50 by seddy90
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Going to MacDonalds for a Salad is like going to a crack house for vitamins
These high gas prices sure have made it hard to land on the dollar when filling up.
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06-05-2010 23:01 by tomcall
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borrowed my wife's razor, it had a sensitive strip. Now I can't stop crying.
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06-05-2010 22:52
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iF YoU tyPE LiKE ThiS, YoU'rE prOBAblY tOo YoUNG To bE oN fACebOoK.
To DO: ☑ Get groceries, ☑ Lay around, ☑ Eat stuff, ☑ Be Awesome.
It's sad when you can see how long you slept by looking at the time between Facebook status updates.
I don't need to make better choices, I need better things to choose FROM.
enjoying a stiff one. A stiff drink, you dirty-minded people!
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06-05-2010 15:42
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used to sing like Justin Bieber...then I turned 4!!
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06-05-2010 13:46 by COREY
Comments (1)
- I've just written a song about a Tortilla......Well I guess it's more of a Wrap....
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06-05-2010 13:44 by Y.P
Comments (2)
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
I wonder how long I would be on hold if my call WASN'T important to them.
After I die, they will look through my portfolio of Facebook status updates and see that my life was not wasted.
I like Facebook because I can say whatever I want about anyone as long as it's carefully worded so you can't tell that I'm talking about you, Sarah.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
I know where children get their energy... they drain it from their parents!
I read the rules and decided they are stupid so I will be making my own from now on.