Flinnie Funny Status Messages

   FACT: being a constant delight just comes naturally to me.

   When one door closes another one opens... if that were true, imagine trying to get in the car. It would be like an episode of Mr Bean.

   It's that time of year again where commercials remind me that I will probably never get a car with a bow on it

   Patriots by 7. This is my pick for the Superbowl. And for any future U.S. revolutionary wars.

   in other countries they riot against brutal dictators, in America we riot when our sports team wins a championship

   Everytime I see "ROFL"... I think of Scooby Doo trying to say "waffle".

   Won't get the test results til next week, but the giant shoes & makeup suggest I may have Clown Syndrome

   "I wanted to watch football on NBC but this figure skating they're showing is cool too". --said no one ever

   One day nursing homes will be full of ex-Juggalos trying to remember what their tattoos mean.

   Watching football shows me just how enthusiastic and pretty beer drinkers are. According to beer ads.

   A woman gave birth shortly after finishing the Chicago Marathon on Sunday. And that's why I don't run marathons

   I will only believe that YouTube truly has everything once I can see Burl Ives song Ham and Eggs on there. You have failed, internet.

   I could never go to a hip hop concert. I never feel like saying either Hey or Ho when told to.

   Sometimes I forget every thought I've ever had and stare at the phone, wondering why it's in my hand

   Holding grudges gets you no where in life but it does prove how stuck in the past you are.

   its come to my attention its been sometime since many of you have brought the noise/and or funk

   I'm hoping one of the new scenes Lucas adds to Star Wars involves Jar Jar being brutally killed

   the royal wedding is as close to porn for females as you're ever gonna see...except Twilight

   20 years later, members of Bell Biv Devoe are still adamant about not trusting a big butt and a smile.

   It's pretty funny to strap a Christmas tree to the roof of your car, light it on fire, and drive around like nothing's wrong.