smeebert Funny Status Messages

   selfies are so last year, this year it's othies

   Your so beautiful I can see you in 3D, yep thats my room number

   Just won the lotto but can't find my ticket

   As a kid I was always wearing shoes too big and didn’t know why until one day I remembered my childhood and my dad saying - walk a mile in mine.

   Wow I guess David didn't beat Goliath, Tim Tebow did... what a game.

   Just got back from a third world country - I got my box full of Seattle Seahawks 49th Superbowl champions shirt suckers...

   I'm going to stand outside... So if anyone asks, tell them I'm outstanding

   went to a movie tonight with 18 blonds!!! they said because 18 and under was not allowed

   If someone gave me a million dollars to lose weight for one of those weight loss programs I would too

   Why am I sleeping on the couch? well lets put it this way she caught me talking on the phone last night and it was not Jake from State farm

   Some things need no improving, three stooges for instsn

   She will always remember this as the day she almost caught captain Jack Sparrow