Monday Funny Status Messages

   Now Russia is accusing Russia of meddling in Russia's internal affairs, and is demanding Russia register as a foreign agent by Monday.

   How is Monday the 13th not as scary as Friday the 13th?!

   If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that doesn't let you skip

   If life was a YouTube video, Monday would be that annoying ad that doesn't have the "You can skip in 5 seconds" option.

   After Monday and Tuesday, even the caledar says WTF.

   Wednesday is the new Monday and Thursday is the new Hump Day.

   Tough Monday today so I consulted my spirit guide. He led me right to the Vodka. Total Mind Reader!!!

   I cannot believe Monday got the audacity to be tomorrow..

   I haven’t dreaded a Monday this bad in a long time. It’s been at least 7 days.

   WOW! I can't believe the Guard who was guarding Jeffery Epstein was killed in an automobile accident - Tomorrow or Monday!

   This week's weather forcast...Monday: Room Temperature Tuesday: Room Temperature Wednesday: Room Temperature Thursday: Room Temperature Friday: Room Temperature

   I’ll like to brag that after 12 Years of marriage, I still have sex with my wife almost every day! Almost on Monday Almost on Tuesday Almost on Wednesday Almost on Thursday Almost on Friday Almost on Saturday Almost on Sunday.!

   Monday is Memorial Day. I plan on showing my grandsons how to eat corn on the cob typewriter style. The hard part is going to be explaining a typewriter. 🌽

   One time I waited 30 minutes for a bakery to open to get the best birthday party cupcakes. It was a Monday. The bakery was closed on Mondays. I think about that a lot.

   On Monday I have appointments at the psychologist and the gynecologist and if it was the 1800s that would be the same thing

   Cyber Monday but instead of buying more stuff, I get rid of it by putting it in Amazon boxes on my porch and let it get stolen

   The Weeknd should change his name to Monday Morning 'cause that's how bad he s_cks.

   Interesting Fact: Tuesday Weld was not named after the second day of the week. Because if she was, her name would be "Monday Weld."

   Daaaay-oh! Monday come and me wan go home...

   Another Monday. Aw, man. I don't know if I can do this. (Just practicing.)