Monday Funny Status Messages

   Has your credid card ever been frozen due to suspicious behaviour? "Let's go over your recent transaction history...it seems like you have been to a lot of bars lately." F*ck, don't judge my Monday nights....

   A perfect Monday night: 7 pm -- Ahh yes Chinese food!!! 7:15 pm -- I'm so full. 7:30 pm -- Ahh yes leftover Chinese food!!!

   My favorite holiday is, National Egg Salad Lunch Monday. . .

   To be honest, I'm just not that into you, Monday.

   Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever.

   Scott Baio speaks at the GOP convention on Monday and the creator of Happy Days dies on Tuesday. Coincidence? I think not.

   ... Just been watching Ladies Olympic Beach Volleyball and there has already been a wrist injury .... But I should be OK by Monday

   How I love #Monday. On a different subject. Have you ever met someone for the first time and wanted to buy them a toaster for their bathtub?

   May your clothes be comfy. your coffee strong and your Monday short.

   A cigarette shortens life by 2 min,a beer shortens life by 4 minutes,a Monday at work shortens life by 8 hours

   If my week was a YouTube video, Monday would be that crappy ad that it doesn't let you skip.

   DAAAAY-OH! DAAaay-oh! Monday come and me wanna go home.

   Daylight Savings Time: I say start it on a Monday at 5 pm. You wouldn't lose the hour on Sunday, and it would shorten Monday.

   Turns out if you fake your death every monday work catches on.

   I've got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I'm gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist, a priest and bail money.

   Short term goal, today get past annoying Monday and Monday's close friends, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday before hanging out with Friday and Friday's hot friends Saturday and Sunday.

   Can't wait, after Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday's Trump fiasco, I'm so looking forward to SNL this Saturday. It's going to be an awesome show.

   . The Afghanistan address trump gave monday was very similar to one that Obama gave. Trump needs to get a new speech writer.

   Another good feeling. Waking up and realizing that it's sunday and not monday morning. AAAAAH......zzzzzzz.

   "Friday" is an old Indian word that means "Just two more days until Monday."