Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   You ever notice how awful your face looks in public restrooms full of fluorescent lights? Every cut, scrap, scratch, scar, scab, zit, bump, blemish, and pimple you had all seem to come out at the same time.

   My house would be a lot more vacant if I could communicate in Roach & Spider language.

   You ever seen somebody so damn ugly the government should transfer their birthday to Halloween??....Yeah, me too.

   Its funny how the Simpsons have been around for 21 years and they haven't aged a bit.

   Congratulations Kanye for setting your daughter up to be teased with corny pickup lines all throughtout her school years. "Hey North West, wanna switch directions and go down on the "dirty south" with me?"

   Just remember...when you're sitting down praying to be someone else, someone else is praying to be you.

   You were a straight-A student, on the honor roll, well-behaved all throughout your school years.......Now today you're wondering why you're unemployed and struggling. Do you still believe in the system "they" taught you since you were a child??

   USA - "Dad can I borrow a few trillion dollars?" England - "...Ask your mother" China - "Hell no I'm not giving you any money!! You'll just let your government friends waste it all on gambling.

   "So.....you went to college to get a job and you have a job to pay for college." .....What a great economic system the Rothschilds & Rockefellers created!

   Watching golf is like watching paint dry....

   WARNING: Reflections in this mirror may be distorted by socially constructed ideas of 'beauty'

   FACEBOOK + CHRISTMAS = Endless status updates reminding you what month it is. Not to mention pages and pages of people's Xmas pics.

   Everybody would agree that 2009 has been a hard year for all of us.

   "This is America. We don't stop doing something 'cause it's wrong. We just keep doing it til it's right." - Ed Wuncler (The Boondocks)

   Do you look at a Doritos chip closely at how much flavor is on it right before you eat it? The more flavor, the better.

   Coming soon this decade, GREAT DEPRESSION 2. Starring the U.S. Citizens. Produced by NWO. Directed by "The Ones Who Run This Country". This event is rated EF for Everybody's F*cked.

   It really sucks seeing a profile pic of two girls and the hot one is always someone else.

   Can't wait until nothing happens on 12/21/2012.

   thinking about building a house made of unopened Bud Light cans and bottles....[The commercial inspired me]

   Saying that athiests can't say "OMG" because they're godless is like saying theists can't say "common sense" because they lack it.