AlliB513 Funny Status Messages

   I'm on a 30 day diet. So far I've lost 15 days.

   Facebook needs a SERIOUSLY?!?? button

   Given enough coffee, I believe I could rule the world.

   I drink, therefore I am.

   Cleaning the house while the kids are awake is like trying to rake leaves in a hurricane.

   Some days there just isn't enough give-a-damn.

   Why do men complain about women nagging when it could all be solved so easily? DO IT THE FIRST TIME WE ASK!

   Blonde texts me "What does IDK, IDC and GTG mean? " I respond "I don't know, I don't care, and Got to Go." She responds "FINE, but that's really rude!"

   Nothing is certain but death, taxes, and the reply-all jackass in every mass email.

   Every year, grandma gets run over by a reindeer. I wonder if this year, if I left some extra cookies, Santa'd aim for my ex instead?

   Facebook -- a place to indulge your ADD and OCD all in one place.

   They say a computer keyboard is germier than a toilet. I'm not surprised with all the sh*t emails I get.

   Yeah, keep complaining about the new Facebook. Unless you PAY FOR IT, I don't think any of us have the room to complain.