Sully Funny Status Messages

   Do Obama phones immediately quit working if the government shuts down? Asking for a friend......

   Friday the 13th might be an unlucky day, but when you live in the land of bacon, badasses and bald eagles, every day is a lucky day....... ‪#‎America‬

   America. Even when we lose, we still win..... USA!!

   Breaking: Elmo taking over as the "special teams" coach at Penn. State!

   This is not a post. This is a lip-sync of a post.....

   Okay, Earth Day is over, we can start f**king up the planet again........

   Before you get married ask yourself: is this the person you want to watch stare at their phone the rest of your life?

   BREAKING: Penn State to keep Paterno statue, but plan to move it into the showers....Or something like that?

   Damn it...... I've been eating Thin Mints like crazy and haven't lost a freakin pound?

   Fonzie never wore a safety harness jumping the 14 garbage cans in front of Arnold's or jumping the shark tank. Don't be a Potsie Wallenda, ditch the harness..

   Damn Earthquake made me spill my tea, and I'm a 1000 miles away.. I'm available for interviews ; )

   Looking at those meteorite videos from Chelyabinsk. I have learned Russians have very bad radio stations....

   Paid a kid $20.00 to cut my grass - I've officially created more jobs this year than Obama.......

   And there are some that say I don't need an AR-15 and 30 round mags. Yeah right....

   it just me or does it look like the Carnival cruise ship is leaving a skid mark across Mobile Bay?

   Only thing Obama tried to fix today was the 2014 elections.....

   You guys see the Casey Anthony video diary yet? I think she's grown. She looks like the kind of person you could start, and then murder a family with.......

   Hurricane Tip: If you get stung by a wind flung jellyfish have a friend pee on you, ASAP......

   Don't worry about the problems in North Korea, besides the destroyer......we've sent the B52's over. They'll surrender once they've listened to Love Shack a few times.

   What if somebody finds the missing plane tomorrow but no one believes them because April fools....?