Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If you happen to see an FBI agent wearing one of Melania’s dresses, post a photo of him.

   Sorry friend, but your latest post didn't gargle Zuckerberg's balls.

   A donation of 14 billion has been made to eastern Europe in your name. Thanks.

   For the immediate future I think we should show Coffee some respect and stop calling it a "Cup of Joe."

   If Biden is the answer, how stupid is the question?

   You get prosecuted for refusing to wear a mask on a plane, but they can intimidate supreme court justice’s families and will be celebrated. This is how you know we are living under a regime.

   The only supply chain Biden won’t disrupt, the flow of drugs at our southern border.

   People are running away from Netflix and Disney by the millions. Go woke, go broke.

   If we have zero percent inflation, why do we need an Inflation Reduction Act?

   “We just want to be treated like normal people,” says the Drag Queen twerking in front of a bunch of toddlers.

   Me: My 401k is crushed I can’t afford food or gas. Biden: (licking ice cream cone) “Best economic recovery in history, Jack.”

   Don’t let anyone else ruin your day. It’s YOUR day, ruin it yourself.

   Dear leftists, you just spent the last two years fighting against the concept of body autonomy, take it down a notch.

   Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.

   Turbo Tax is the worst computer game ever.

   There are two ways of doing things, my way or the wrong way.

   At the end of my appointment, the doctor took his own blood pressure.

   Don’t forget to pay your taxes, so they can send pallet loads of cash to corrupt countries, while you hit the same pothole driving to work every day.

   Oh, the hubris! Confusion now has made his masterpiece!

   Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.