Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Home quarantine going great so far but not sure what day it is or what hour it is and I’m not really sure where I parked.

   I judge people based on their email address.

   If it was called a "rebsite" Elmer Fudd would pronounce it correctly.

   When I get out of quarantine I am starting a line of lawn mowers called mowjo.

   Toxic people be like “Enjoy your day” after they just ruined it

   A Man's Take On Marriage: An arrangement where you're owned by someone else, yet don't actually own anything yourself.

   Trying to figure how I know people from their profile picture is making excepting friendships harder and harder with all these masks.

   Think I've spent half the time I've been staying home due to the Coronavirus just scrolling looking for something to watch on Netflix.

   I'm almost to the point of thinking that the only thing that can unite us is a Netflix show about a gay zoo owner, with a platinum blonde mullet.

   Petrichor, n. the smell of rain on dry earth

   I always Google before reading directions to anything !

   Proof that a level weirder than weirdness exists

   Hey Osama, must suck when you wake up in Hell & realize those 70 virgins were not women after all, but 70 male virgins that are sooo ready to tear that ass up in Hell.

   Hey Osama I hope you like guy's because I have 72 for you

   This must be the has been edition of celebrity apprentice.

   Decided to add upsets to my bracket this year. So far, I'm the only one that is upset.

   I prepared my self for this rapture by playing zombies on black ops and my wife said it was a waste of time I guess the jokes on her !

   oh crap..they didn't take me but they took the rum!

   Final Words..."These are the GOOD kind of mushrooms"

   it just me, or is each "next big thing" getting less and less big and nexty, and a lot more thingy?