Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 4290 of 6372
This just in.. Governor Mary Fallin has just signed legislation naming the penguin as the new State Bird of Oklahoma...
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02-09-2011 17:57 by timboss
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went to the head office of the RSPCA its so tiny you couldn,t swing a cat in there
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02-10-2011 05:13 by mr magoo
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I'm celebrating Egypt's freedom by eating the top of the food pyramid all day.
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02-11-2011 18:23 by Aaron
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Sorry folks, Have to RUN, my parole office is knocking on my apartment door..........
Lady Gaga hatched from an egg... has a hard shell like backside and horns beginning to grow out of her forehead... I think maybe she was born to be a dinosaur.
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02-13-2011 22:30
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Then God made Saturn, and He liked it so much he put a ring on it.
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02-14-2011 01:35
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Okay, which one of you single ladies wants to have casual valentine's sex with me tonight?
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02-14-2011 07:25
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Chocolate..✔,.Strawberries..✔,.Whipped Cream..✔,....now just need my Valentine!!
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02-14-2011 10:35 by BFF
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I've only got a couple more years in my "fat stage of life" before I start getting refer'd to as the "fat friend"
PLEASE NOTE... Facebook has changed its News Feed, so that by default, you can only see updates from people you've recently interacted with! To change this, click on the arrow next to 'Most Recent', then 'Edit Options', and check the box to receive updat
in charge of fixing dinner tonight, and I want to get home and open that jar of peanut butter so it can breathe.
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02-16-2011 19:09
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I don't understand the point of the Shake Weight; if you need weights, wouldn't you already jiggle enough???
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02-17-2011 01:06
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Presidents Day is just another Monday I'm celebrating Sarah Palin not being president
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02-18-2011 12:02
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Dear snow, I think you're lost. Alaska is a different way.
Oh Mylanta!
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02-20-2011 18:48
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walking and waiting for the Hawaiian Tropic tour bus to come by and ask me to be their oil boy.
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02-21-2011 10:00
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Heroes get remembered, but legends never die. If you follow your heart you'll never go wrong.
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02-22-2011 19:43
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Oh, I'm sorry....I didn't realize you were giving me a dirty look, I thought you were that ugly all of the time.
Where you find true friendship, You find true love.
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02-25-2011 21:43 by BEGO
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Democrats...Republicans...News Media....Racial tension....let's put the blame where it belongs....THANKS EVE, HAVE "ANOTHER " APPLE !!!!!